Monday, November 15, 2010

How Much can One Love!!!!????

Everyone falls in love at least once in a life time! Here, am not talking about loving family or friends...but that one true love that happens at least once with everyone...
For some lucky people it happens again and again..or they tend to realise that their true love is the current one and the previous one was never “the” one...;)
However, for some people it happens just once...the person is matured enough to know that it is the love of their life...and they just go with the flow. But, then comes a storm. The true love fades away...and what remains is just an incomplete love story. First love is incomplete!!! Now, apparently, this one blow, remains as a scar forever. As times goes by, you tend to meet many more worthy people , people who love you like crazy but, you are so hurt or so stuck with your first love that you fail to recognise that. You start comparing the present with the past. You are not satisfied. You say a NO. Or, you do not have the courage to go ahead again, and you tell the person that it is better you remain friends..which is never possible for the opposite. You do this coz you do not have the strength to face the failure again, you do this coz you do not want to dream again, you do this coz you do not wanna see tears again, you do this coz you cannot take the pain again...!!! So you decide to never fall in love again...!!!
One life, but one failure makes you take these decisions (which appear so trivial later) for the good years of your life and you do not realise that you end up losing a lot!!! All this comes back as sheer pictures in the later part of your empty life...!! Trust me!!
Sometimes, inspite of stopping yourself, for years together and being firm that LOVE will not happen again, ever, it happens!! You are too scared to accept it. You are too sceptical. You try and do everything that takes you to the opposite directions. But, LOVE, itself is so strong, that you just get carried away. The person ends up being everything you ever wished for. All the time that you are with the person, you never realise anything, coz you have a mental block of not going through Love again...but, it just happens..! Again, there’s a new ray of hope..again, you see a rainbow..again, life becomes more beautiful than before and everything around you is simply tantalising...!!!
Alas, this time when you connote this, it so happens that this ends up being your love story but not the opposite. This Love means the world to you but may not be the same on the other end. This time, you have already made tons of sketches of your love story, but, apparently, there are no colours to these...it never started!! This time theres NO ONE to blame. You cannot force someone to be your world!!!
Again, you get blue funked, again you only see sunsets, again, you feel so empty!!! This time the pain gets worse, coz, this time, you have no one to blame, this time, you saw, you began, you have to end! The end is difficult, coz, its so difficult to curb a feleing, a feeling so strong, a feeling which kept blooming for years together inspite of your strength to hold on, to not dive, and now theres no way out!!! It feels like Life has collided with death and just fallen apart...these piece of an incomplete love again are there to keep you alive, but they can never get back together to live life!!!
How much can one Love!!?? Is it possible to ever Love again?? Maybe, yes, but mostly NO. You just begin accepting anything and everything that will come your way after this. No life...no feelings..nothing!!! Bejaan....how much can one love!!!??

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mystifying Vibes! ;)

I have started working after a very long break. I am back now to a life which I have already lived. Same city, same traffic, same pollution, same working hours! However, this time, its taking a huge toll on me. I have managed a professional life for 5 years and nothing has changed so far. Henc, am wondering why am I not able to still adapt to the change. I realize that earlier when I started working, I was very young, a fresher straight out of college and had loadz of energy and zeal. I do have the zeal now as well, but, it has been seasoned. It is not raw anymore. I have a lovely job, a lovely home, some good old friends to hang out with, yet, there is something missing. I somehow feel very hollow. It’s not that I am not happy, but, still, I am not sure what I am waiting for. Its not a desperate situation, its not a need for someone, its not a desire to do something, but, strangely, am not sure what I am waiting for. This starky feeling comes every single minute, and maybe , this is the only reason why I am still not used to the new change. I wonder what it is , I need to know, coz I wanna feel complete, impeccable! I wanna express every emotion from within. A smile curves my face very easily, but, dunno, I feel the sparks missing!!
Need to find a solution soon..else, will end up in the wrong direction!
Ek ajeeb si kashish hai, sab kuch hai, fir bhi kuch nahin, itne saare dost hai fir bhi koi nahin..kya hai yeh! Kyun hai yeh!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Gorgeous me!

How many times have we felt like not talking to someone coz they are better than us? How many times have we stepped back coz we do not think high of ourselves? How many times have we shed a tear coz someone said some bitter truth about us and it hit us very badly?
There are many times when we feel low, miserable, disgusted, and what not just because we lack confidence in ourselves. It could be because we are not very intelligent, or maybe because we are constantly being compared to someone better or simply because we always want to be someone else!
It’s all about what you think! Over the years, I have been going through this phase of trying to be better than someone else or just working hard towards not being “me”! I would waste days together feeling lonely and cribbing about all the not so important things around me. Eventually I realized many things and things which I know for sure, will never bring a frown or put me in doldrums.
I would like to bring to light here specifically, the “Looks” factor. I come with average looks, an ok complexion and am on the heavier side. I would always compare myself to people who are pretty or slim or feel inferior to people who are tall and look great. Alas, I failed to see and recognize my inner beauty. Ultimately, what matters is this. The outer appearance changes as you age, but the inner beauty only gets more prettier, more groomed, more graceful, as the age grows. No matter how you look, just be confident about yourself. Someone does not talk to you because of your looks or just ignores you, don’t retaliate, don’t feel low, rather, walk past them. Look beyond. Make them realize that you indeed are the most gorgeous person they have ever met, coz, your heart is worth a million beautiful faces! Do not compare, rather, see what your potential is and bring the best out. Of course, work and do everything that you can to look better physically, never give up on that, however, do not forget that what lasts is simply “YOU”! If you end up looking great, don’t overdo it with pride. Nurture yourself, to ensure, that people around are happy to see through your eyes, into your heart. Ensure, that even if you are plain and simple like an Oyster, deep down lies a beautiful radiant pearl! Age grows, wrinkles start creeping…these wrinkles should be the sign of the real you, they should be the sign of a seasoned life!!
Believe in yourself, coz, you are perfect the way you are!!! Let people like you for what you are, and not for what you can be to their eyes. You want to change, change for yourself, but not at the cost of others!
So, am all set to be the most gorgeous one ever!! I feel good to feel it!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

FRIENDS OR COMPANIONS

All my life I have had loads of Friends and am sure most of us, if we are the gregarious kind and who trust everyone easily, will have. When you are in school, if you have the maximum circle of friends, you definitely are the most popular kinds. Everyone would look upto you. Sometimes, they would even try and do things that you do or wear clothes the kinds you wear and much more. All this is just great till you are in school. But what matters is how many of these friends really last or are "with you" through all phases of your life. As I have grown, as the eyars have passed by, I have realised that there are very few, just as many as your fingers, who are with you through your thick and thin. The sooner you learn to filter your friends the better. I am using the word filter because, most of the times, the more time we spend with our chosen friends for life, we start believing that they are evrything to us. We create a world of fun around us, but somehow apprecitae it only when it has our "best friends" in it. This , everyone would agree, is true 80% of the time.
But of course, theres another face to this.
When you start living your life with those few friends, one thing is bound to happen. Either you or your friend would start taking you for granted. You would never relaise this even if its been happening all the time, but, it would start pinching only when something in your normal life goes a little abnormal. Or, maybe when you start expecting a lot more than required from your freind. There are times, when "you" would consider your friend as "The Best friend for Life" only to realise that only "YOU" consider them as your best friend. Its not the same the other way. Or you would be dying to meet your friend after a long long holiday only to see that your friend is too busy just to say a "HI". Or you just want to meet your friend to say a Goodbye as you know you are not gonna have them beside you for long, only to see that your friend doesnt even care! How many of us have felt this time and again with some or the other friend/friends?
I just want to say that you need to be extremely lucky to be 60 and still have the friends who were with you when you were 20. Its always better to have a balance and hold on your feelings for a friend. The best way to do that is expect the least. Try and give more in friendship than to ask more. Try as many friends as you can because to find one true friend is like eating a melon.Try and be there for your friend only as much as the friend needs you. Do not overdo, sometimes it really becomes difficult to deny or avoid. Try and be the first one to apologise if things go wrong, coz if you have found a true friend, its too bad to lose the treausre just like that. I can go on and on which most of us know and do all our lives... But do all this only if your friend is really worth it, if not, try, once, twice, thrice...then move on, and start a new search, a new trust, a new faith...!!!
One friend who can be with you till your last breath is worth a thousand friends who last with you as long as you are in the same school or as long as you are in the same organization....these are just "Companions"!
I am lucky coz I know who are my "Companions" and who are my "Friends"!!! :)
Do you know? Start knowing them, its worth the precious smile!!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Impeccable Arranged Marriages

"Marriages are made in heaven"....I somehow want to believe this but its true only when it happens. For some people it happenes too early and for some when they least expect it happens! The day everyone gets married, people do think it as their best day but eventually time says everything!!!
For a girl who has NO LOVE LIFE, has no choice but rely upon the families to search a groom for her...!!! At times, lifes experiences make you believe somewhere deep within that you cannot have a Love marriage...but ofcourse, we never lose hopes on it!
Now, if you are a girl and you come from a typical family where the ideal age to get married is 22 or 23 and because of your ambitious quality, you somehow cross that age..you realise, that somehow the whole world around you , have suddenly started worrying about you. I come from such a family, where, I do have all the freedom i could ever ask for, but somehow, we all live not just with our family but are somehow connected to the society around us, the people around us... So even if your family is taking it cool, the people around just build all the pressures. At these times, no matter how great your parents are, they do get carried away..ofcourse, nothing bad about it...but still!!!
I have come across many guys. Apparently have realised, that the guy and their families always expect more than they get from the girl they are looking at. I don't know whats with the "Groom World" nowadays. There are two kinds that I have come across and not to forget, both kinds want "Perfect Girls". This one kind of Groom World needs a girl who is great to look at, who has a perfect body, who can look hot when they are moms,who can cook, and do a 9 to 5 job. In short manage everything, from home, to husband to family to self grooming. And theres this other kind, who want everything mentioned above minus the working bit. They want their girl to be a pakka housewife, a home maker. And, if you have crossed the age, your opiniond about a guy do not matter. You are asked to compromise on everything as families, relatives fear that the more the age graph increases, the lesser good guys you would find. I just ask them, how good are these guys..?? In a common world, Indian family, most of the to be brides say "I want a guy who has a flawless skin, who has a great body, who is a great dad, etc etc"..but in reality how much of it is really considered..eventually the girl is asked to compromise on most of the things...coz..she simply is a girl!!
Its very easy for a guy to say, "I don't think this would work out, because you are not great at your looks", " I don't think this will workout if you want to do a job", "I don't think this will work out if you are not a great cook" and so on and so forth..
For once, all the guys who are going for an arranged marriage, put yourselves in a Girls shoes, maybe the size is not the same, but just try....make an effort. A girl has lived for 25 to 26 odd years of her life with all her dreams intact...day on day...she has so many desires till she lives, she wishes to dance in the rain, she wishes to have a cozy sunday, she wishes she could have a team under her, she wishes she could just watch TV someday and laze around, she wishes someone would cook for her too..she wishes a lot of things..But most of the times, she gives up everything because she is with someone who wants her to be someone else..she kills all her desires for the happiness of someone else...and inspite of all this, when one day she cant be "that" someone, she changes. And then, after all the years of hardwork, when she ceases to be that "someone" who she never was...she is no more respected..people talk about her changed nature, and so many such things...And all this just because the Lady started being herself again..??
I do agree that not all girls go through this, but most of them do...and all they can do is just listen, get advoses from the entire world, agree...if the same thing is done by a guy, he is not even blamed...I know times are changing, but, still, not changed. Things of these sorts do exist even today in most of the typical Indian families.
Eventhough, the guy is not a wee bit like you have dreamt of, you need to accept the fact that this is "The Guy". The guy may not be good looking, may not be the humorous kind, may not have a family like yours, but still they rule. They definitely have the right to walk in , walk out, choose and deny any and every girl.
All this happens...it truly does...and still hopes never die...A girl keeps hoping that someday she will get the right guy, and if she does not, she will still consider him the right guy...she will make sure everybit of her life her guy smiles...irrespective if she does..she will definitely hope she gets a family like hers, and if she does not she will adapt herself to new family...but she will still smile...she will do everything just to make sure everyone around her are happy....but she will only smile!!!!
Hopes never cease...dreams never stop...just accept everything and move on...you never know, life may have surprises!!!! Just don't give up which most of the girls do..and start accepting...lets choose...lets walk in and walk out...lets just not agree to everything...common...lets stop the sacrifices... :)
After all...marriages are made in heaven and they are impeccable... or are they second rated? ;)

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Blue Funk

Blue Funk, dullness, bleakness or Depression, what is it..?? Depression means different to each one... To some the feeling you get when your dream is shattered is "depression", to some the same shattered dream is a stepping stone to a new one. To some the feeling of a break up of a long last love is "depression", to some the same break up is a reason to be stronger than before. To some the feeling of a broken family is "depression", to some the same is a start to new responsibilities. There are many such examples that I can cite here, but at the end of the day I feel its worthless to get depressed. Depression brings in many things along with it, it brings in fear, it brings in uncertanity, weakness and the extremity being at times suicides! Our mind and our heart play a very cruical role at the time of depression. Most of the times they work together. But at the peak of any emotion, they prefer to stay apart and be opponents.
Many a times I get depressed as well. There are times my depression has lasted for months together. At the time of depression, eveyrthing will seem negative. Mind will not want to think in any direction except the direction which the mind has convinced the heart and the heart just follows. I would fail to see the brighter side of life and what not. I do agree, that time of depression is really bad and not everyone can undertsand or express the feel. But when I would get over it after all the thinking and advises from the near dear, I would realise, I wasted a lot , LOT of precious time which I can never get back. Over a period of time, one realises that being depressed is no solution. Its just a way the mind thinks and manipulates the wonderful heart to be dull. Depression can kill the moment. It can make you lose what you already have or an opportunity can be overlooked.
I have relaised that each day needs to be taken the way it comes. Definitely, think about the future, dream big, laugh always, but when the future doesnt turn out the way you thought, dreams are not fulfilled, don't be depressed, don't blame The God, don't say "Why me", just smile, and think for a moment with all your heart. A positive energy will flow, just hold on to it and you will feel that whatever happens, happens for good, maybe theres another bigger dream that is gonna be fulfilled, maybe the best is yet to come, maybe , maybe...
Life is beautiful if you choose to see it and always, picture abhi baaki hai..!!! Laugh, smile, beam, cackle,snicker...everythiing will seem easy and great!!! :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mumbai and Me

Dreams many a times take me from a world of bitterness to a world that I always wished to be in. I have spent many of my wonderful childhood days in Mumbai. Mumbai, the city that brings a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye, no matter where I hear it or wht I am doing. Since, most of my childhood was spent there, I got so attached to Mumbai that when I was in college, I had no dooubts that I would land there. Alas, things that you want the most never come to you easily unless you are LUCKY! Well, I ended up in Blore with a job and a new life. A new city to explore. I spent 5 years and I do not regret any single moment spent there. However, I still wish, I still believe I should be in Mumbai. The city has so much life, every minute counts, every second is important, else you juat miss the Train. The train could be just a medium of transport putting you from Wadala to Andheri, or it could be a train of the innumerable opportunities that the city has, or a train to the life of those crazy people who do not believe in sleeping at night, or just a train to the benches at the serne and calm sea , the Nariman Point. Name it and you find it is what the city is about. Right from the best slum areas to the best bungalows is Mumabi. Right from a 10 Buck Vada Pav to a 500 Buck Falafal is Mumbai. I just can go on and on about my dream city. It isn't an impossible task to be in Mumbai. But at times, you are just so crippled because of your circumstances or even more apt would be due to opportunities that were not grabbed at the right time. Neverthless, Mumbai is calling and I will soon be there and live the dreams that I have seen. There is no pleasure than just living your dremas!!! A small cozy flat, a job that I look forward to each day, a nice terrace, is what my independence is about. Not too many friends, jus a subtle life is what I am about. Mumbai is the place where I see all this and I hope I live it soon...!!! :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Networking....

When I was in school, the only way we stayed connected was through Emails or home phones. But, today, the youngest of the lot, are so adepted to the networking sites that emiling is always a second option. The first thing when they would ask is , "Are you on FB", "Are you on Twitter" and what not. I did not even know half these things existed till I was in college. But, today, if you are not on any of these, you will be considered a person from the prehistoric times.
On giving second thoughts, I would agree that these sites have done wonders. Let me share the best experience of Orkut and also one of the reasons why I loved Orkut. After school, everyone went to different colleges and later on to different places for further studies or jobs. One fine day the few of us who were in touch, decided to have a reunion. However, it seemed a little impossible as it was 7 years since we all had graduated from school. Most of the email ids, written down in our scrapbooks while leaving school did not even exist. We did not even know where half the crowd was. It was a total tough job. The only way, we then started, searching for all our freiends was through Orkut. Whether people stayed connected or not through emails, the moment a friend was added on orkut, the whole Re-union thingy looked bright and the rest is history.
Orkut was the bandwagon for every individual. Though we have exceptions! Soon after orkut, started the Face Book funda. Since, everyone have been so used to Orkut, Facebook being so neoteric with its applications, pokes, games, and what not, most of the people found it a little baffling. But, eventually got used to it.
Now there are a number of such sites, the more you are on them, the more you stay connected with your people. After, a cxertain period, one would just stick to the initial connections and use it bare minimum. Like, for example, I stopped using orkut. I stopped sending scraps. I now am active on FB, but not much.
Anyways, each one has its own way of staying connected, for some its just a click way , for the rest its just a phone call away.
However, staying connected is all that matters. The medium can be anything.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Couch Potato

The dictionary meaning of "Couch Potato" , as everyone knows, is "a person who spends all the leisure time in watching television. I always thought how could a person watch so much television. It really is not satisfying. However, today was one such day for me in all these years. I have watched television since morning 10.30 and stopped just a while ago. Towards afternoon, I thought to myself, "I am wasting a lot of time", "I can do something else", "why am I doing this?" etc etc. I am surprised, I have been on that bean bag all day. Trust me, I just don't feel good. I feel all the more irritated. I feel guilty. I feel sick. My eyes are hurting. I am never ever going to do this again. And to all those who do this, wake up... it is worthless. It only brings lethargy, exasperation and anatgonized.

I need to do lot of activities to be "Me" . Buh BYe Couch Potato!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Aal is Well

I again missed my mornig jog due to extreme laziness. I need to get rid of just this one aspect "Laziness"... Welll, the morning breakfast started with the CNN IBN News channel. The first thing I saw was a huge media questioning Vidhu Vinod Chopra, the Producer of the movie, 3i. Breifly, a controversy between the famous writer Chetan Bhagat and the entire crew of 3i. Chetan claims he has not been given enough credit for the movies success. The 3i crew says that only 5% of the movie has been adapted from the novel, 5 Point Someone. Well, to think about it, theres this one day when everyone is desperately waiting for the movie to release, and just when the success celebrations have started, there comes a big controversy. Sometimes, I wonder, how much the world is worried about success, credit, moolah, appreciation. Admist all this, we forget to have control over our emotions. Just the way Vidhu Vinod Chopra started shouting at the media and on the otehr hand Chetan Bhagat argued and questioned the crew about the book.

I have read the book and watche dthe movie as well. I feel, of course the movie has been adapted from the book, the ground work is from the book. Neverthless, it is quiet different form the book in many aspects as well. The credit goes to both. This does not demand a silly and nonsensical fight. All this is just a mess. Anyways, it is a little surprising to see these controversies but the fact is they are not new either. The glamour world is dry without these.

Anyways, taht apart, my day was again not just the way I thought it would be. I havent studied a bit, and time is just flying. Neither have I concentrated on my calories today. Well, I would still say , "Aal is Well"..and its still not too late!!!!!

Friday, January 1, 2010

3i

3 Idiots, one of the best movies of the year 2009. I have loved the movie for everything, the story, the script, the actors, the direction, everything...!! This movie has made me believe that you have to be "Extraordinary" to make the world see you. It is not important to be intelligent, it is not important to go to the best school, it is not important to get the best grades, just know the best of your talent and oursue it with all the heart and soul. You will be extraordinary and success will be yours without even you noticing it. This movie also opens the eye of many parnets who unnecessarily force their kids to be something which according to them is the best, but never ask their kids what they really want to be. This movie also exposes our education system which only pressurises us with loadz of assignments and projects.

In all, a movie which is just not a movie but a learning. Kudos to the entire crew and its members for giving us, such a great time!

Routine and a Calll

2010 is the eyar I am gonna Blog every single day. I am going to make it a habit. This blog of mine will reflect every part of me...the moody me, the bubbly me, the ambitious me, the angry me, the smiley me....everything!!!

Today, began with loadz of messages from all the near dear ones wishing me a happy and a prosperous new year. Since, I am jobless , I have monopolised myself with a bit of cooking, dusting, making chocolates for sale, creative arts and ofcourse studying.. Now, last year I had decided that each day of the year 2010 would be filled with lot of reading, studying and indulging myself in knowledge improvement. Alas, the first day did not turn out anything like that. It did involve cooking, dusting, making chocolates and then came a call. Suddenly, I realised one of my very old and close fren was leaving Mysore for sometime, and ofcourse, I had to meet him. Hence, I was off to meet him and time just flew by. I still have 6 hours before the first day ends and I still can stick to what I decided.

Coming to think about it, Frens can jus be so wonderful. If a friend means a lot to you, you would just keep everything aside with just one call. I have many companions but very few friends. This year, I am going to intorduce to you all, my close frens who mean a lot to me and have made a big difference to my world. Today, was one such fren. He has helped me change the way I think, to be precise, he has made me realise that emotions and sentiments are not valued by everyone. So just don't show it to all. Let the world know that you are as strong as a mountain eventhough you have a heart which can just melt with a hug... I can write loadz about him , but guess, this is all that I would want to share. He means a lot to me and I am sure when he reads this, he will smile... :)

Hello 2010 !!

Is it the time to make resolutions?? There was a time long long ago when every new year we made resolutions, resolutions to ensure that we lived a life of perfection for the next 12 months. I remember, I would make resolutions, follow them for a month and bang! its gone with the wind..

This year, I just need to finish the incomplete things to make a complete me... I have been delaying on this from quiet sometime , but now I know I want to and I will.
One, would be to lose weight, to go on a Himalayan trek and to complete my PG. These are my primary goals, and of course what is life without the endless list of "To Do". Today being the very first day of the year, it has gone just the way I wanted it to be unlike most of my days where I am just pleasing others, or just doing things because I have to. Its a new start and I am gonna have a perky life ahead. I choose it to be this way and this year I will be just "me" but with a addon...

People who know me will love the new me for sure....and people who do not would love to know me..!!! I wear this attitude!

Happy New Year to all!!!!