I have started working after a very long break. I am back now to a life which I have already lived. Same city, same traffic, same pollution, same working hours! However, this time, its taking a huge toll on me. I have managed a professional life for 5 years and nothing has changed so far. Henc, am wondering why am I not able to still adapt to the change. I realize that earlier when I started working, I was very young, a fresher straight out of college and had loadz of energy and zeal. I do have the zeal now as well, but, it has been seasoned. It is not raw anymore. I have a lovely job, a lovely home, some good old friends to hang out with, yet, there is something missing. I somehow feel very hollow. It’s not that I am not happy, but, still, I am not sure what I am waiting for. Its not a desperate situation, its not a need for someone, its not a desire to do something, but, strangely, am not sure what I am waiting for. This starky feeling comes every single minute, and maybe , this is the only reason why I am still not used to the new change. I wonder what it is , I need to know, coz I wanna feel complete, impeccable! I wanna express every emotion from within. A smile curves my face very easily, but, dunno, I feel the sparks missing!!
Need to find a solution soon..else, will end up in the wrong direction!
Ek ajeeb si kashish hai, sab kuch hai, fir bhi kuch nahin, itne saare dost hai fir bhi koi nahin..kya hai yeh! Kyun hai yeh!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Gorgeous me!
How many times have we felt like not talking to someone coz they are better than us? How many times have we stepped back coz we do not think high of ourselves? How many times have we shed a tear coz someone said some bitter truth about us and it hit us very badly?
There are many times when we feel low, miserable, disgusted, and what not just because we lack confidence in ourselves. It could be because we are not very intelligent, or maybe because we are constantly being compared to someone better or simply because we always want to be someone else!
It’s all about what you think! Over the years, I have been going through this phase of trying to be better than someone else or just working hard towards not being “me”! I would waste days together feeling lonely and cribbing about all the not so important things around me. Eventually I realized many things and things which I know for sure, will never bring a frown or put me in doldrums.
I would like to bring to light here specifically, the “Looks” factor. I come with average looks, an ok complexion and am on the heavier side. I would always compare myself to people who are pretty or slim or feel inferior to people who are tall and look great. Alas, I failed to see and recognize my inner beauty. Ultimately, what matters is this. The outer appearance changes as you age, but the inner beauty only gets more prettier, more groomed, more graceful, as the age grows. No matter how you look, just be confident about yourself. Someone does not talk to you because of your looks or just ignores you, don’t retaliate, don’t feel low, rather, walk past them. Look beyond. Make them realize that you indeed are the most gorgeous person they have ever met, coz, your heart is worth a million beautiful faces! Do not compare, rather, see what your potential is and bring the best out. Of course, work and do everything that you can to look better physically, never give up on that, however, do not forget that what lasts is simply “YOU”! If you end up looking great, don’t overdo it with pride. Nurture yourself, to ensure, that people around are happy to see through your eyes, into your heart. Ensure, that even if you are plain and simple like an Oyster, deep down lies a beautiful radiant pearl! Age grows, wrinkles start creeping…these wrinkles should be the sign of the real you, they should be the sign of a seasoned life!!
Believe in yourself, coz, you are perfect the way you are!!! Let people like you for what you are, and not for what you can be to their eyes. You want to change, change for yourself, but not at the cost of others!
So, am all set to be the most gorgeous one ever!! I feel good to feel it!!
There are many times when we feel low, miserable, disgusted, and what not just because we lack confidence in ourselves. It could be because we are not very intelligent, or maybe because we are constantly being compared to someone better or simply because we always want to be someone else!
It’s all about what you think! Over the years, I have been going through this phase of trying to be better than someone else or just working hard towards not being “me”! I would waste days together feeling lonely and cribbing about all the not so important things around me. Eventually I realized many things and things which I know for sure, will never bring a frown or put me in doldrums.
I would like to bring to light here specifically, the “Looks” factor. I come with average looks, an ok complexion and am on the heavier side. I would always compare myself to people who are pretty or slim or feel inferior to people who are tall and look great. Alas, I failed to see and recognize my inner beauty. Ultimately, what matters is this. The outer appearance changes as you age, but the inner beauty only gets more prettier, more groomed, more graceful, as the age grows. No matter how you look, just be confident about yourself. Someone does not talk to you because of your looks or just ignores you, don’t retaliate, don’t feel low, rather, walk past them. Look beyond. Make them realize that you indeed are the most gorgeous person they have ever met, coz, your heart is worth a million beautiful faces! Do not compare, rather, see what your potential is and bring the best out. Of course, work and do everything that you can to look better physically, never give up on that, however, do not forget that what lasts is simply “YOU”! If you end up looking great, don’t overdo it with pride. Nurture yourself, to ensure, that people around are happy to see through your eyes, into your heart. Ensure, that even if you are plain and simple like an Oyster, deep down lies a beautiful radiant pearl! Age grows, wrinkles start creeping…these wrinkles should be the sign of the real you, they should be the sign of a seasoned life!!
Believe in yourself, coz, you are perfect the way you are!!! Let people like you for what you are, and not for what you can be to their eyes. You want to change, change for yourself, but not at the cost of others!
So, am all set to be the most gorgeous one ever!! I feel good to feel it!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
FRIENDS OR COMPANIONS
All my life I have had loads of Friends and am sure most of us, if we are the gregarious kind and who trust everyone easily, will have. When you are in school, if you have the maximum circle of friends, you definitely are the most popular kinds. Everyone would look upto you. Sometimes, they would even try and do things that you do or wear clothes the kinds you wear and much more. All this is just great till you are in school. But what matters is how many of these friends really last or are "with you" through all phases of your life. As I have grown, as the eyars have passed by, I have realised that there are very few, just as many as your fingers, who are with you through your thick and thin. The sooner you learn to filter your friends the better. I am using the word filter because, most of the times, the more time we spend with our chosen friends for life, we start believing that they are evrything to us. We create a world of fun around us, but somehow apprecitae it only when it has our "best friends" in it. This , everyone would agree, is true 80% of the time.
But of course, theres another face to this.
When you start living your life with those few friends, one thing is bound to happen. Either you or your friend would start taking you for granted. You would never relaise this even if its been happening all the time, but, it would start pinching only when something in your normal life goes a little abnormal. Or, maybe when you start expecting a lot more than required from your freind. There are times, when "you" would consider your friend as "The Best friend for Life" only to realise that only "YOU" consider them as your best friend. Its not the same the other way. Or you would be dying to meet your friend after a long long holiday only to see that your friend is too busy just to say a "HI". Or you just want to meet your friend to say a Goodbye as you know you are not gonna have them beside you for long, only to see that your friend doesnt even care! How many of us have felt this time and again with some or the other friend/friends?
I just want to say that you need to be extremely lucky to be 60 and still have the friends who were with you when you were 20. Its always better to have a balance and hold on your feelings for a friend. The best way to do that is expect the least. Try and give more in friendship than to ask more. Try as many friends as you can because to find one true friend is like eating a melon.Try and be there for your friend only as much as the friend needs you. Do not overdo, sometimes it really becomes difficult to deny or avoid. Try and be the first one to apologise if things go wrong, coz if you have found a true friend, its too bad to lose the treausre just like that. I can go on and on which most of us know and do all our lives... But do all this only if your friend is really worth it, if not, try, once, twice, thrice...then move on, and start a new search, a new trust, a new faith...!!!
One friend who can be with you till your last breath is worth a thousand friends who last with you as long as you are in the same school or as long as you are in the same organization....these are just "Companions"!
I am lucky coz I know who are my "Companions" and who are my "Friends"!!! :)
Do you know? Start knowing them, its worth the precious smile!!
But of course, theres another face to this.
When you start living your life with those few friends, one thing is bound to happen. Either you or your friend would start taking you for granted. You would never relaise this even if its been happening all the time, but, it would start pinching only when something in your normal life goes a little abnormal. Or, maybe when you start expecting a lot more than required from your freind. There are times, when "you" would consider your friend as "The Best friend for Life" only to realise that only "YOU" consider them as your best friend. Its not the same the other way. Or you would be dying to meet your friend after a long long holiday only to see that your friend is too busy just to say a "HI". Or you just want to meet your friend to say a Goodbye as you know you are not gonna have them beside you for long, only to see that your friend doesnt even care! How many of us have felt this time and again with some or the other friend/friends?
I just want to say that you need to be extremely lucky to be 60 and still have the friends who were with you when you were 20. Its always better to have a balance and hold on your feelings for a friend. The best way to do that is expect the least. Try and give more in friendship than to ask more. Try as many friends as you can because to find one true friend is like eating a melon.Try and be there for your friend only as much as the friend needs you. Do not overdo, sometimes it really becomes difficult to deny or avoid. Try and be the first one to apologise if things go wrong, coz if you have found a true friend, its too bad to lose the treausre just like that. I can go on and on which most of us know and do all our lives... But do all this only if your friend is really worth it, if not, try, once, twice, thrice...then move on, and start a new search, a new trust, a new faith...!!!
One friend who can be with you till your last breath is worth a thousand friends who last with you as long as you are in the same school or as long as you are in the same organization....these are just "Companions"!
I am lucky coz I know who are my "Companions" and who are my "Friends"!!! :)
Do you know? Start knowing them, its worth the precious smile!!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Impeccable Arranged Marriages
"Marriages are made in heaven"....I somehow want to believe this but its true only when it happens. For some people it happenes too early and for some when they least expect it happens! The day everyone gets married, people do think it as their best day but eventually time says everything!!!
For a girl who has NO LOVE LIFE, has no choice but rely upon the families to search a groom for her...!!! At times, lifes experiences make you believe somewhere deep within that you cannot have a Love marriage...but ofcourse, we never lose hopes on it!
Now, if you are a girl and you come from a typical family where the ideal age to get married is 22 or 23 and because of your ambitious quality, you somehow cross that age..you realise, that somehow the whole world around you , have suddenly started worrying about you. I come from such a family, where, I do have all the freedom i could ever ask for, but somehow, we all live not just with our family but are somehow connected to the society around us, the people around us... So even if your family is taking it cool, the people around just build all the pressures. At these times, no matter how great your parents are, they do get carried away..ofcourse, nothing bad about it...but still!!!
I have come across many guys. Apparently have realised, that the guy and their families always expect more than they get from the girl they are looking at. I don't know whats with the "Groom World" nowadays. There are two kinds that I have come across and not to forget, both kinds want "Perfect Girls". This one kind of Groom World needs a girl who is great to look at, who has a perfect body, who can look hot when they are moms,who can cook, and do a 9 to 5 job. In short manage everything, from home, to husband to family to self grooming. And theres this other kind, who want everything mentioned above minus the working bit. They want their girl to be a pakka housewife, a home maker. And, if you have crossed the age, your opiniond about a guy do not matter. You are asked to compromise on everything as families, relatives fear that the more the age graph increases, the lesser good guys you would find. I just ask them, how good are these guys..?? In a common world, Indian family, most of the to be brides say "I want a guy who has a flawless skin, who has a great body, who is a great dad, etc etc"..but in reality how much of it is really considered..eventually the girl is asked to compromise on most of the things...coz..she simply is a girl!!
Its very easy for a guy to say, "I don't think this would work out, because you are not great at your looks", " I don't think this will workout if you want to do a job", "I don't think this will work out if you are not a great cook" and so on and so forth..
For once, all the guys who are going for an arranged marriage, put yourselves in a Girls shoes, maybe the size is not the same, but just try....make an effort. A girl has lived for 25 to 26 odd years of her life with all her dreams intact...day on day...she has so many desires till she lives, she wishes to dance in the rain, she wishes to have a cozy sunday, she wishes she could have a team under her, she wishes she could just watch TV someday and laze around, she wishes someone would cook for her too..she wishes a lot of things..But most of the times, she gives up everything because she is with someone who wants her to be someone else..she kills all her desires for the happiness of someone else...and inspite of all this, when one day she cant be "that" someone, she changes. And then, after all the years of hardwork, when she ceases to be that "someone" who she never was...she is no more respected..people talk about her changed nature, and so many such things...And all this just because the Lady started being herself again..??
I do agree that not all girls go through this, but most of them do...and all they can do is just listen, get advoses from the entire world, agree...if the same thing is done by a guy, he is not even blamed...I know times are changing, but, still, not changed. Things of these sorts do exist even today in most of the typical Indian families.
Eventhough, the guy is not a wee bit like you have dreamt of, you need to accept the fact that this is "The Guy". The guy may not be good looking, may not be the humorous kind, may not have a family like yours, but still they rule. They definitely have the right to walk in , walk out, choose and deny any and every girl.
All this happens...it truly does...and still hopes never die...A girl keeps hoping that someday she will get the right guy, and if she does not, she will still consider him the right guy...she will make sure everybit of her life her guy smiles...irrespective if she does..she will definitely hope she gets a family like hers, and if she does not she will adapt herself to new family...but she will still smile...she will do everything just to make sure everyone around her are happy....but she will only smile!!!!
Hopes never cease...dreams never stop...just accept everything and move on...you never know, life may have surprises!!!! Just don't give up which most of the girls do..and start accepting...lets choose...lets walk in and walk out...lets just not agree to everything...common...lets stop the sacrifices... :)
After all...marriages are made in heaven and they are impeccable... or are they second rated? ;)
For a girl who has NO LOVE LIFE, has no choice but rely upon the families to search a groom for her...!!! At times, lifes experiences make you believe somewhere deep within that you cannot have a Love marriage...but ofcourse, we never lose hopes on it!
Now, if you are a girl and you come from a typical family where the ideal age to get married is 22 or 23 and because of your ambitious quality, you somehow cross that age..you realise, that somehow the whole world around you , have suddenly started worrying about you. I come from such a family, where, I do have all the freedom i could ever ask for, but somehow, we all live not just with our family but are somehow connected to the society around us, the people around us... So even if your family is taking it cool, the people around just build all the pressures. At these times, no matter how great your parents are, they do get carried away..ofcourse, nothing bad about it...but still!!!
I have come across many guys. Apparently have realised, that the guy and their families always expect more than they get from the girl they are looking at. I don't know whats with the "Groom World" nowadays. There are two kinds that I have come across and not to forget, both kinds want "Perfect Girls". This one kind of Groom World needs a girl who is great to look at, who has a perfect body, who can look hot when they are moms,who can cook, and do a 9 to 5 job. In short manage everything, from home, to husband to family to self grooming. And theres this other kind, who want everything mentioned above minus the working bit. They want their girl to be a pakka housewife, a home maker. And, if you have crossed the age, your opiniond about a guy do not matter. You are asked to compromise on everything as families, relatives fear that the more the age graph increases, the lesser good guys you would find. I just ask them, how good are these guys..?? In a common world, Indian family, most of the to be brides say "I want a guy who has a flawless skin, who has a great body, who is a great dad, etc etc"..but in reality how much of it is really considered..eventually the girl is asked to compromise on most of the things...coz..she simply is a girl!!
Its very easy for a guy to say, "I don't think this would work out, because you are not great at your looks", " I don't think this will workout if you want to do a job", "I don't think this will work out if you are not a great cook" and so on and so forth..
For once, all the guys who are going for an arranged marriage, put yourselves in a Girls shoes, maybe the size is not the same, but just try....make an effort. A girl has lived for 25 to 26 odd years of her life with all her dreams intact...day on day...she has so many desires till she lives, she wishes to dance in the rain, she wishes to have a cozy sunday, she wishes she could have a team under her, she wishes she could just watch TV someday and laze around, she wishes someone would cook for her too..she wishes a lot of things..But most of the times, she gives up everything because she is with someone who wants her to be someone else..she kills all her desires for the happiness of someone else...and inspite of all this, when one day she cant be "that" someone, she changes. And then, after all the years of hardwork, when she ceases to be that "someone" who she never was...she is no more respected..people talk about her changed nature, and so many such things...And all this just because the Lady started being herself again..??
I do agree that not all girls go through this, but most of them do...and all they can do is just listen, get advoses from the entire world, agree...if the same thing is done by a guy, he is not even blamed...I know times are changing, but, still, not changed. Things of these sorts do exist even today in most of the typical Indian families.
Eventhough, the guy is not a wee bit like you have dreamt of, you need to accept the fact that this is "The Guy". The guy may not be good looking, may not be the humorous kind, may not have a family like yours, but still they rule. They definitely have the right to walk in , walk out, choose and deny any and every girl.
All this happens...it truly does...and still hopes never die...A girl keeps hoping that someday she will get the right guy, and if she does not, she will still consider him the right guy...she will make sure everybit of her life her guy smiles...irrespective if she does..she will definitely hope she gets a family like hers, and if she does not she will adapt herself to new family...but she will still smile...she will do everything just to make sure everyone around her are happy....but she will only smile!!!!
Hopes never cease...dreams never stop...just accept everything and move on...you never know, life may have surprises!!!! Just don't give up which most of the girls do..and start accepting...lets choose...lets walk in and walk out...lets just not agree to everything...common...lets stop the sacrifices... :)
After all...marriages are made in heaven and they are impeccable... or are they second rated? ;)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Blue Funk
Blue Funk, dullness, bleakness or Depression, what is it..?? Depression means different to each one... To some the feeling you get when your dream is shattered is "depression", to some the same shattered dream is a stepping stone to a new one. To some the feeling of a break up of a long last love is "depression", to some the same break up is a reason to be stronger than before. To some the feeling of a broken family is "depression", to some the same is a start to new responsibilities. There are many such examples that I can cite here, but at the end of the day I feel its worthless to get depressed. Depression brings in many things along with it, it brings in fear, it brings in uncertanity, weakness and the extremity being at times suicides! Our mind and our heart play a very cruical role at the time of depression. Most of the times they work together. But at the peak of any emotion, they prefer to stay apart and be opponents.
Many a times I get depressed as well. There are times my depression has lasted for months together. At the time of depression, eveyrthing will seem negative. Mind will not want to think in any direction except the direction which the mind has convinced the heart and the heart just follows. I would fail to see the brighter side of life and what not. I do agree, that time of depression is really bad and not everyone can undertsand or express the feel. But when I would get over it after all the thinking and advises from the near dear, I would realise, I wasted a lot , LOT of precious time which I can never get back. Over a period of time, one realises that being depressed is no solution. Its just a way the mind thinks and manipulates the wonderful heart to be dull. Depression can kill the moment. It can make you lose what you already have or an opportunity can be overlooked.
I have relaised that each day needs to be taken the way it comes. Definitely, think about the future, dream big, laugh always, but when the future doesnt turn out the way you thought, dreams are not fulfilled, don't be depressed, don't blame The God, don't say "Why me", just smile, and think for a moment with all your heart. A positive energy will flow, just hold on to it and you will feel that whatever happens, happens for good, maybe theres another bigger dream that is gonna be fulfilled, maybe the best is yet to come, maybe , maybe...
Life is beautiful if you choose to see it and always, picture abhi baaki hai..!!! Laugh, smile, beam, cackle,snicker...everythiing will seem easy and great!!! :)
Many a times I get depressed as well. There are times my depression has lasted for months together. At the time of depression, eveyrthing will seem negative. Mind will not want to think in any direction except the direction which the mind has convinced the heart and the heart just follows. I would fail to see the brighter side of life and what not. I do agree, that time of depression is really bad and not everyone can undertsand or express the feel. But when I would get over it after all the thinking and advises from the near dear, I would realise, I wasted a lot , LOT of precious time which I can never get back. Over a period of time, one realises that being depressed is no solution. Its just a way the mind thinks and manipulates the wonderful heart to be dull. Depression can kill the moment. It can make you lose what you already have or an opportunity can be overlooked.
I have relaised that each day needs to be taken the way it comes. Definitely, think about the future, dream big, laugh always, but when the future doesnt turn out the way you thought, dreams are not fulfilled, don't be depressed, don't blame The God, don't say "Why me", just smile, and think for a moment with all your heart. A positive energy will flow, just hold on to it and you will feel that whatever happens, happens for good, maybe theres another bigger dream that is gonna be fulfilled, maybe the best is yet to come, maybe , maybe...
Life is beautiful if you choose to see it and always, picture abhi baaki hai..!!! Laugh, smile, beam, cackle,snicker...everythiing will seem easy and great!!! :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Mumbai and Me
Dreams many a times take me from a world of bitterness to a world that I always wished to be in. I have spent many of my wonderful childhood days in Mumbai. Mumbai, the city that brings a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye, no matter where I hear it or wht I am doing. Since, most of my childhood was spent there, I got so attached to Mumbai that when I was in college, I had no dooubts that I would land there. Alas, things that you want the most never come to you easily unless you are LUCKY! Well, I ended up in Blore with a job and a new life. A new city to explore. I spent 5 years and I do not regret any single moment spent there. However, I still wish, I still believe I should be in Mumbai. The city has so much life, every minute counts, every second is important, else you juat miss the Train. The train could be just a medium of transport putting you from Wadala to Andheri, or it could be a train of the innumerable opportunities that the city has, or a train to the life of those crazy people who do not believe in sleeping at night, or just a train to the benches at the serne and calm sea , the Nariman Point. Name it and you find it is what the city is about. Right from the best slum areas to the best bungalows is Mumabi. Right from a 10 Buck Vada Pav to a 500 Buck Falafal is Mumbai. I just can go on and on about my dream city. It isn't an impossible task to be in Mumbai. But at times, you are just so crippled because of your circumstances or even more apt would be due to opportunities that were not grabbed at the right time. Neverthless, Mumbai is calling and I will soon be there and live the dreams that I have seen. There is no pleasure than just living your dremas!!! A small cozy flat, a job that I look forward to each day, a nice terrace, is what my independence is about. Not too many friends, jus a subtle life is what I am about. Mumbai is the place where I see all this and I hope I live it soon...!!! :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Networking....
When I was in school, the only way we stayed connected was through Emails or home phones. But, today, the youngest of the lot, are so adepted to the networking sites that emiling is always a second option. The first thing when they would ask is , "Are you on FB", "Are you on Twitter" and what not. I did not even know half these things existed till I was in college. But, today, if you are not on any of these, you will be considered a person from the prehistoric times.
On giving second thoughts, I would agree that these sites have done wonders. Let me share the best experience of Orkut and also one of the reasons why I loved Orkut. After school, everyone went to different colleges and later on to different places for further studies or jobs. One fine day the few of us who were in touch, decided to have a reunion. However, it seemed a little impossible as it was 7 years since we all had graduated from school. Most of the email ids, written down in our scrapbooks while leaving school did not even exist. We did not even know where half the crowd was. It was a total tough job. The only way, we then started, searching for all our freiends was through Orkut. Whether people stayed connected or not through emails, the moment a friend was added on orkut, the whole Re-union thingy looked bright and the rest is history.
Orkut was the bandwagon for every individual. Though we have exceptions! Soon after orkut, started the Face Book funda. Since, everyone have been so used to Orkut, Facebook being so neoteric with its applications, pokes, games, and what not, most of the people found it a little baffling. But, eventually got used to it.
Now there are a number of such sites, the more you are on them, the more you stay connected with your people. After, a cxertain period, one would just stick to the initial connections and use it bare minimum. Like, for example, I stopped using orkut. I stopped sending scraps. I now am active on FB, but not much.
Anyways, each one has its own way of staying connected, for some its just a click way , for the rest its just a phone call away.
However, staying connected is all that matters. The medium can be anything.
On giving second thoughts, I would agree that these sites have done wonders. Let me share the best experience of Orkut and also one of the reasons why I loved Orkut. After school, everyone went to different colleges and later on to different places for further studies or jobs. One fine day the few of us who were in touch, decided to have a reunion. However, it seemed a little impossible as it was 7 years since we all had graduated from school. Most of the email ids, written down in our scrapbooks while leaving school did not even exist. We did not even know where half the crowd was. It was a total tough job. The only way, we then started, searching for all our freiends was through Orkut. Whether people stayed connected or not through emails, the moment a friend was added on orkut, the whole Re-union thingy looked bright and the rest is history.
Orkut was the bandwagon for every individual. Though we have exceptions! Soon after orkut, started the Face Book funda. Since, everyone have been so used to Orkut, Facebook being so neoteric with its applications, pokes, games, and what not, most of the people found it a little baffling. But, eventually got used to it.
Now there are a number of such sites, the more you are on them, the more you stay connected with your people. After, a cxertain period, one would just stick to the initial connections and use it bare minimum. Like, for example, I stopped using orkut. I stopped sending scraps. I now am active on FB, but not much.
Anyways, each one has its own way of staying connected, for some its just a click way , for the rest its just a phone call away.
However, staying connected is all that matters. The medium can be anything.
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